I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
Randomize
