i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
Randomize
