Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Randomize
