Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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