he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
