She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
Randomize
