Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
Randomize
