i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Randomize
