guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Randomize
