GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
Randomize
