I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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