my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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