Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
Randomize
