the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Randomize