I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
this beer tastes like vomit already
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
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