True but thats because hes a fetus.
Heybabeimwearingurpanties
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
Randomize
