i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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