After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Ladies don't puke and tell
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
