I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize
