i think my mom watched the whole time
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
