I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
meet me or not, i'm out of control
He told me they were just razor bumps!
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
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