Your tits are I can't wait for
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
These tits shall not be calmed
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
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