I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
Randomize
