Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
