YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Randomize
