Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
