let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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