Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
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