you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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