this beer tastes like vomit already
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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