I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Randomize
