How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
Randomize
