ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
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