Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
Enjoy the penises
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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