I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
