The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Randomize
