i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
