After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Randomize
