wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
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