So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
