Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
Randomize
