I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
