Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
