Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Randomize
