so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
Randomize
