my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize
