Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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