absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
Randomize
