"it" just moved
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Randomize
