At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
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