dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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