mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
and she was petting her beer can
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
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