She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
