can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Randomize
