Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Randomize
