What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
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