in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize