So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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