you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
try to milk me bitch
Come on in and take your pants off
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