so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Randomize
