Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Randomize
