How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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